The Saga Continues

So, as the title of the post suggests, I am going to be updating from this post from 2008.  I realize it has been five years.  I have had a lot going on, or not, or maybe I didn't have the insurance that the current administration promised.  You decide.  :) 

I went to the Rheumatologist and he looked at my rash and hands and everything, ordered another seventy thousand blood tests, and asked me to come back in two weeks.  So I did.  I immediately went down to the lab for the blood draw.  This time it was exactly 13 vials of blood. The phlebotomist referred to Dr. Finney as a vampire, I have to say I had thought that as well.  Fast forward to test results day...All of my tests came back good, except for two.  So we decided to wait and see what the dermatologists says.  I went to the dermatologists, and it was actually kind of fun, if you consider fun having two doctors, one resident, one med student, and a nurse poking and pushing and pulling on your body fun.  Long story short, they took photos of my rash, and did another punch biopsy. The doctor prescribed me a .05% Steroid ointment to help with the rash, which I think is the highest topical steroid they make.  so far it is working, my rash is not as noticeable and seems to be fading rather quickly.  Once they get the biopsy results back, he will most likely prescribe a drug called Plaqenil, which is actually an anti-malarial. medication, and go from there. So that is where I am at...

I am back (ish) :)

It's been several years now since I started this blog.  And I am going to continue this blog, mostly for myself, as an outlet for my thoughts and what is happening in my life, but also to share my life and my story with others.  Who knows, maybe my life and experiences will help someone out there in a situation they are in.  I am not sure how this is going to go, but we will see!!  So if you find yourself here on my page reading this, please come back often and check in, and let me know you have been here.  I will be posting a little more about me very soon!!!!

Check this out...awesome...

This is a post I read on Big Mamas blog...go and read it...its fantastic:

The Waiting is the Hardest Part of Waiting

I'm...Back...I think...

Hello bloggers, blog readers...and whoever might stumble upon this page ;-)

It seems as if it has been forever since I have written anything. So much has changed since my last post. And I am busy compiling all my the events and thoughts in my head so I can post. I may break it up in to categories...hmmmm...I dunno...we shall see.

I just wanted to let you know, if you are still out there, that I am still around, just been rather busy with some things. But I am still here.

Take care...see you REAL soon, I promise!!

Desires of My Heart

As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to get married and have a family. In the past two or three years, that desire has increased, I am not sure if it is my age, God urging me, or what, but I yearn for the companionship that only a marriage can provide. Marriage is a huge responsibility not to be taken lightly. We live in a broken world, no, we live in a shattered world, full of shattered marriages, homes, families, friendships and hearts...just plain shattered. As a follower of Christ I know that the only way all these things can be mended, is through the love of Jesus Christ. I also know that I cannot help spread the news of His tremendous love unless I, myself accept it and LIVE it daily. I have accepted it, over 20 years ago. I strive to live it daily.

But let's go back to my original point, getting married. I have an innate desire to be a wife, but not simply a wife...but a Godly wife. I have a desire to have a Godly man as my husband. A man after God's heart. One who will love and care for me like Jesus loves the church. The following verse is often a "mantra" for "church-going" singles ~ it is found in Psalms 37: 4 ~ Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Does it end there? Is all I have to do is delight myself in the the Lord? Really...? That seems pretty simple, doesn't it...I think some of us would be tempted to scream "I'm delighted in you Lord...I am delighted!..now where is my mate??"

But wait just a moment...there is more to Psalms 37 than just that. I believe the key is the fulfillment of our being delighted in the Lord. The word delighted is being used as a verb here...its an action that we must take. It is our part to play. It's up to God how and when He will then grant us those desires. The Psalmist tells us what our part should look like:

Vs. 3 : Trust in the LORD and do good;

Vs. 5 : Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this;

Vs. 6: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,the justice of your cause like the noonday sun;

Vs. 7a: Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.

There are things we must do to be granted the desires of our hearts. We must trust in the Lord and live Godly lives, we must commit our ways to the lord and trust fully in him, we must be still before the Lord and wait patiently for his timing, otherwise we risk ending up with broken shattered lives. Some of us may have already. We must also remember that His ways are not ours, sometimes that's a tough pill to swallow, because we tend to want to do things our way.

However, I believe that there is hope: if we strive to live a pure Godly life, the closer we grow to God and spend time reading and meditating His Word - and walking in His ways, the more our desires will conform to His will for our lives. As our desires are aligned with His will - as opposed to our own worldly and sinful inclinations - the more we will see our desires fulfilled.

But it's not just what we do that matters, but also what we don't do:

Vs.1: Do not fret because of evil men; or be envious of those who do wrong;

Vs. 7b Do not fret when men succeed in their ways,when they carry out their wicked schemes;

Vs. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;do not fret — it leads only to evil.

We need to be continually be praying against our tendency to look longingly on the world's way of getting our needs met. If we desire marriage but have an idea in our mind that it's primarily about finally being sexually satisfied and never being lonely, having someone to do things for us, then we are setting ourselves for major disappointment.

There's so much misinformation floating around about what marriage really is that , that the majority of couples marry with unrealistic or warped expectations, and the hope of "lasting" instant gratification. The main purpose of marriage isn't companionship, romance, or even sex, those are the fruits and priveledges of marriage. Marriage is a divinely blessed and covenantally sealed procreative partnership. It is a covenant committment that a man and a woman make together in front of God. And the procreating has everything to do with being refined toward holiness.

With all the confusion about what marriage is for, it's possible that unanswered prayers for spouses have more to do with unrealistic expectations than God's power to supply mates... Asking God to help us find a mate is asking Him to take us from a place of single focus to one that will require selflessness. Far from being the answer to all our dreams and fantasies, marriage will be a crucible for making us more like Christ. It was set up that way from the beginning. This is what makes marriage, as God intended it to be, so worthy of our desire. God designed us for relational intimacy — when Adam didn't find a "suitable helper" among the animals, God created Eve. Marriage is a gift from His hand.

Let's face it, we have many desires, and long for physical intimacy, but just as it's unwise to give in to our every whim and desire, it's equally unhealthy to simply stuff them. Rather than asking God to remove our sex drive, our desires for instant gratification and the like, we should pray that He would show us why He's wired our body for sex. Prayerfully ask Him to help us live toward fulfilling our sexual desires in a way that honors Him and brings Him glory. Let Him refine our desires, both in the waiting and should He allow, in getting married for His glory.

Answered Prayers and Compassion

I have no excuse of why I have not been blogging much lately, other than the Lord is really moving in my life right now, and I just kinda really need to focus on that. I am seeing great things happen, and some things I have been surprised at. I am seeing prayers answered, some almost instantly, some things I have been praying for a long time, those prayers are starting to be answered as well! Hallelujah!!! God is amazing, and wonderful. I give Him all the praise and glory! I am still not sure where everything is headed, but I know that God is in control and he has something grand in store for me (and YOU!)!

In the mean time, I read this post from Angie blog, Bring the Rain and it really touched my heart (even the the digs at Pete (Pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville) made me smile!)....She is on a mission trip with Compassion in India and I do not yet sponsor a child, but I am praying about it and cam strongly considering do so. Anyway, I encourage you to read the post (and the others) , it brought tears to my eyes! Pete is posting too from India, and so is Shaun Groves and Melissa from Living Proof. Great Stuff! Also Keely is their photographer...and takes amazing photos...check them out too!

God Bless!

Empty Me

Wow, it's been a while since I have bloggeded ;-) Have you ever had so much stuff rattling around in your mind that you have a difficult time sorting it out to write about, because it's just too much for you to do? Well, that's me lately. I have so much on my mind that I cannot sort it all out. I am spending alot of time in prayer lately. Prayer for my health, prayer for a certain relationship, prayer for my family, for my daughter and for dear friends. I have also been spending alot of time (though not nearly enough) just praising God for who He is, and thanking Him for all he has given me, because if I am being honest, I do not do that nearly enough. I need to trust Him more. I need to learn to just lay everything at His feet and LEAVE it there. My theme song of late as been Empty Me by Jeremy Camp, and I visited a church in San Diego, and they had communion service and this was the song they sang as people came up to get the communion elements...what a perfect song for this occasion. WOW. It really spoke to me in a way that it had never before. Listen to it. Listen to the words. Pray that God Empty You and fill you up with HIM!!! I need that. I crave that.

Check this out...I needed it too...

UnChristian

I am reading a book entitled UnChristian by David Kinnaman... You can check out the premise here: http://www.unchristian.com/

I am only on chapter two, but this section really hit me - keep in mind that this book is written from alot of research done with 17-30 year olds and what their perception on Christianity is...the term outsiders is used for people who are not or do not consider themselves followers of Christ.

How common are these perceptions? It is one thing to encounter a person on the street who says audacious, brash things about Christianity, but quite another if these perceptions broadly define the Christian faith among young people. In our national surveys we found the three most common perceptions of present-day Christianity are anti-homosexual (an image held by 91 percent of young outsiders), judgmental (87%), and hypocritical (85%). These "big three" are followed by the following negative perceptions, embraced by a majority of young adults: old-fashioned, too involved in politics, out of touch with reality, insensitive to others, boring, not accepting of other faiths, and confusing. When they think of the Christian faith, these are the images that come to mind. This is what a new generation really thinks about Christianity.

Obviously the book does not end there...but this is where I have stopped for now. Isn't that far enough? These people are the future of our country...and they see us judgmental and hypocritical as a whole....shouldn't we as the body of Christ be working towards changing the focus back to Jesus, and showing these "outsiders" the LOVE of Christ, after all, isn't the United States a Christian Nation?? We like to say that "we are all human, we all make mistakes, we all do things we regret...etc..." Well, I am starting to think that well, that just isn't good enough. We are called to be DIFFERENT, we are CALLED to STAND OUT, an not conform to this world and be passive...I think it is time we start living that and showing that to any an all we encounter each and every day. We need to dispel of this negative image and we need to start now.

My two cents...

I encourage you to get the book...

~Hugs!

Things I Love and Things I Need

~Hugs!

I'm still here...I promise

I know I have been MIA lately...for good reason. I had to move, and bunches of Dr. appointments etc....which I will fill you in with very soon...

So NO...bloggy readers, I have not forgotten you...I still love you...

~Hugs!